Life for those living with ADHD can feel like a constant battle between your amazing ability to focus and problem solve in creative ways, versus your struggle with organisation and overwhelm.
ADHD isn’t just about being easily distracted or bouncing off the walls with endless energy. It’s about feeling misunderstood in a world that often expects everyone to act and feel the same way. It’s about all the times you have questioned yourself, noticed how differently you think to others, realising that you have differences that can sometimes appear subtle to others but inside have you frozen with anxiety, running events repeatedly in your mind, looking for an explanation to why you feel different.
Back in the 70s and 80s when I was a child at school, I was considered a quiet studious child who never caused problems at school…. I was the model student. I wanted to be the best and worked hard when I knew we had tests coming up. I distinctly remember a science test which consisted of 40 questions about the subjects we had learned that term. I made up my mind I was going to get them all correct, so I studied and studied and studied, and memorised, memorised and memorised (I struggle with recall, even to this day unless I memorise!). The big day of the test arrived, and I sat down confidently knowing my subject, knowing I could use my recall methods to help with answers, which would consist of rhymes and songs I’d made up to help my memory.
I answered all the questions and waited patiently for the next week for the results. My world fell apart when I discovered that I had indeed come top pf the class, but I had scored 39/40! I was so upset that I got one question incorrect and was so angry with myself. I was 10 years old. 10 years old and placing pressure on myself at such a young age. I look back with adult eyes now, eyes that have been opened to ADHD and how it presents differently in girls and boys. I see that my high achieving little self was masking at school, wanting to be the best she could be so that she could feel accepted. I doubt anyone else noticed how hard I worked, and I doubt anyone else gave any thought to why I’d got upset at getting one question wrong, but for me it is an event in my life I have never forgotten. For me it meant I was not good enough.
At home is where I could be myself, and that is where I was comfortable enough to be my authentic self. I would demand the attention from my parents and anyone else who was visiting. I could be loud and energetic at home, and yet somehow, I had learned to be the exact opposite at school. I wasn’t the ‘naughty kid’ that we associate with ADHD because I was a girl, and for boys ADHD generally shows up differently. The stereotypical ADHD we are familiar with comes from old stereotypes, usually shaped by boys who struggled to remain quiet, struggled sit still and struggled ‘behave’. Boys who were often sent out of class and shamed for behaving in a way that felt completely normal to them. Those ‘naughty kids’ were just children displaying the clearer, ‘typical’ ADHD signs. So many were just confused, getting into trouble for acting in a way that felt completely natural. Imagine living each day afraid to be yourself, worried you’ll be punished just for being you.
Later, as we started to learn more about ADHD and how it presents – mostly described through the lens of boys – many of us had a moment of surprise, who knew girls could have ADHD too? Back then I didn’t even realise girls could have ADHD! But I was one of them! With my studious persona at school, placing pressure and high expectations on self, and my free, loud and boisterous real me at home, I became a walking, talking and frequent overthinking contradiction, creating a ‘who the hell am I?’ swirl in my head that I still carry with me. I’m being kind to myself now, and I’m allowing my real self to be seen, which allows me to disclose that I am Jo, I am multi-faceted person with absolutely wonderful things to offer this world; I am loud, I am boisterous, I am sometimes quiet and studious, I am hard working and creative, I have amazing focus (when I’m interested), and I am a real, fully rounded individual that cannot be placed in a square box that society would like to place me in. In the words of my lifelong friend, I will “always do things in Jo time and Jo’s way”, usually followed up with a phrase from her dad stating, “Jo is a free spirit”. And that is exactly how I like to be seen.
The good news is, we know so much more now. We’re learning to see these kids – and adults too- with more understanding and kindness. With the right support, we don’t have to hide who we are anymore. We are finally being seen for who we truly are – and for the unique strengths we bring to the world. Increasingly, we’re being encouraged to embrace our creative problem-solving, our incredible ability to hyper-focus, our deep empathy and understanding of others, and the resilience we’ve built by facing life’s challenges head-on. Instead of masking who we are, we’re learning to celebrate it – and allowing society to see us at our best.
So, what is ADHD?
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental difference that affects how the brain processes information and responds to the world.
It can show up as:
- Difficulty with attention and concentration
- Impulsivity or restlessness
- Feeling overwhelmed by daily tasks
- Emotional intensity and racing thoughts
But ADHD can also mean:
- Creative problem solving
- Hyper-focus on passions and interests
- Deep empathy and unique perspectives
- Resilience and navigating challenges
Why Person-Centred Counselling Works for ADHD
Person-Centred Counselling offers you acceptance, empathy, and genuine understanding. Instead of trying to ‘fix’ you, I offer a non-judgemental space where you can be yourself; where you can bring your quirks, your strengths, your struggles and all the rich tones that ADHD has gifted you.
- Together we can explore how ADHD shows up in your daily life
- Identify what supports your focus and wellbeing
- Unpick feelings of ‘not being good enough’ (you really are good enough)
- Celebrate your neurodivergent strengths
- Develop strategies that work for you
With me you will not need to mask or pretend, you can be you and be you in a place that doesn’t require masking to ‘fit in’. In the sessions you will be encouraged to speak freely, interrupt if you need to, bring your full authentic self to sessions to explore who you are.
If you are ready to feel seen and be heard, and explore how Person-Centred Counselling can support you, then I’m here and ready to help. Together we can explore your personal challenges and celebrate your unique strengths.
Talk · Heal · Together
If you have been affected by this article or found yourself identifying with any of the perspectives from which I have written or would like further support with ADHD, please contact your GP for advice.
Counselling sessions with me can be booked directly on this website www.aspenmorgan.co.uk using the online booking system or by ringing 07303 054090 where I will be happy to have a chat with you to discuss your needs.
Further information and support regarding ADHD and ADHD assessment can be found at:
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/adhd-adults/
**Please note the characteristics of ADHD above are not exhaustive and have been selected for the purposes of writing this blog. I do not diagnose ADHD.
